I really didn’t mean to snap—it just happened. It’s not my fault, the wait was long and I could only bide so much time. My friend looked at me and said, “Don’t worry, it won’t be much longer.”
I looked at her and said, “Do I look like I’m worried? I’m perfectly fine. Look at my face and tell me that I’m not perfectly fine because I so am perfectly fine. You must want a medal for telling me that I’m not worried. Great, here you go, genius.”
She rolled her eyes. The hostess arrived and said, “Your table is ready, follow me this way.” We followed and she placed a basket of warm bread on the table. “Your waitress will be with you in a moment. Enjoy!”
I aggressively chewed off a piece of bread and after swallowing, looked at my friend and said, “I’m sorry for the things I said when I was hangry.”
I quoted a sign I read in the home decor section of Hobby Lobby. It’s one of those sayings that’s funny, yet true. It’s funny because, ha ha, hungry and angry combined equals the word “hangry.” But it’s true because I can relate. I get so angry when I’m hungry. Sometimes I get even angrier when I’m close to food, but have to wait a long time before I can eat it.
I don’t do it on purpose. I think my body must physically react in this manner in order to deal with the fact that I’m not piling food into my mouth. I can only reflect on my behavior after I receive and consume said food.
I get myself into real trouble, too. One time around dinner, I was hungry and waited in line at an unhealthy food chain. The customers ahead of me made small talk and I’d never been so irked in my life. It went like this:
“Did you know that a person spends an average of six months in a lifetime waiting for a red light to turn green?” Customer 1 said.
I thought, “Wow, your name must be Google because you know everything.”
“I wonder if that’s the same when we wait for food,” Customer 2 said.
They laughed.
I thought, “That was a very lame joke. Did he go to the school of lame jokes for lame people?”
“Next in line,” the employee said.
I thought, “Okay Customer 1, that’s you. Now order or I’ll scream.”
Customer 1 said, “Did you also know…” and I screamed internally.
A familiar acquaintance came up to me. “Hi Suzette, nice seeing you!” she said.
“Oh. Hi,” I said. But all I could think was “I want greasy food.”
“Next,” the employee said again.
“Yes, the banana was the first fruit grown on a farm,” Customer 1 said.
“How have you been?” the familiar acquaintance asked.
“Good, how are you?” I responded.
“Next,” the employee said for a third time.
“Would you order already?!” I said out loud. Everyone stared in stunned silence. Did I just say that?
“I’m sorry. I’m just a little hangry,” I said.
This is a problem. I think I have to control my hanger.
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