"Noise in a shared space can be disruptive in ways you might not expect. Slamming doors, for instance, can make others think you’re in a bad mood or worse, wake up a roommate who’s asleep." (Graphics Editor / Alexander Cruz)
Living in a dorm can feel like stepping into a pressure cooker; one wrong move with your roommate and chaos is inevitable. That means roommate etiquette isn’t optional; it’s survival.
Something I firmly believe is that everyone should do their part to have proper roommate etiquette. No one’s perfect, and you shouldn’t be expected to be perfect, but taking small, actionable steps to be a good roommate can save you from having to sleep on a friend’s couch, retreat to your hometown, or endure a messy argument.
According to a recent study conducted by Grand Canyon University (GCU), students were surveyed on how well their current housing situations supported their academic studies. The study found that students who lived together in a dorm at GCU exhibited greater dissatisfaction with their housing situations, with nearly one in six students expressing they felt “somewhat satisfied” and five percent being “very dissatisfied.”
I’ve never had to share a room before, so when I had my first dorm, I did everything in my control to be a good roommate and prevent this dissatisfaction. But I quickly learned that none of it would work without one key element, communication.
It’s the foundation of any relationship. If you don’t communicate, how will others know there’s an issue?
Having proper etiquette with a roommate isn’t something we’re taught, though. Rather, it’s something that is learned. I certainly had to learn the hard way when I first transferred to Rowan University.
That doesn’t have to be you, though. Residential Learning and University Housing at Rowan University gives students the opportunity to request or select a roommate through the process of roommate matching. In five simple steps, students are able to log into the My Housing portal, type in the name of the person they wish to room with, and send a request they can accept. The deadline for first-year and transfer students ended on June 2, but it’s something to think about for next semester.
It’s also okay if you don’t have a friend from high school or community college to room with, like I did; in fact, there’s nothing to worry about. Remain open to new people and experiences, and try to avoid making assumptions about people you hardly know.
Still, no one should ever expect their roommate to become their best friend. If they don’t, that’s okay, it’s a boundary they’re setting, and people should respect that. Even so, all parties should be mature enough to communicate, show decent kindness and respect, and effectively resolve conflicts. We’re all adults now, and college isn’t high school; it’s preparing us for the real world once we earn our degree.
As someone who does their best to treat everyone with kindness and respect, something I’ve done prior to moving into my dorm is reach out to my roommates.
I like being the first person to initiate conversation for a few reasons: to introduce myself to my roommates, plan a group chat where we can communicate, get on the same page for who plans to bring specific items, and work together to establish some basic rules.
So how do you start? It’s simple. Prior to moving on campus, you’ll see your housing assignment on the My Housing portal with your room number, bed letter, and your roommates’ names. If you click on their names, you’ll instantly pull up their student email so you can reach out.
This isn’t mandatory, but it’s definitely something that has helped me before my roommates and I show up and realize we each brought a broom and dust pan.
For many like myself, we’re probably excited to start furnishing our dorms and chatting up our new roommates, but before we do, there are some unspoken basic rules we have to learn along the way.
Avoid blasting loud music while your roommates are trying to study. I’m not saying you can’t play music, but it shouldn’t be blaring at max volume when your roommate is logged into their online class.
There’s an easy solution to this: invest in a good pair of headphones. There have been times I wanted to blast Taylor Swift’s “Reputation,” but I like to be considerate of those around me. Perhaps they don’t like Swift and prefer Tyler the Creator, or Morgan Wallen. There’s nothing wrong with that, but headphones are a saving grace when you want to jam out without disrupting others.
An alternative is establishing quiet hours. Perhaps you have a specific time each day allocated to studying. Communicate with your roommate and let them know how long you plan on studying for, so they know to keep the noise to a minimum.
Another thing I like to consider is giving my roommates their respective privacy. As someone who works hard to manage their daily dose of anxiety, I have weekly calls with my therapist. There are things we talk about that I can’t necessarily share with someone else, and those 40 minutes are moments where I kindly ask for privacy. Perhaps for you, it’s not therapy but instead a conversation with another roommate, your parents, or siblings.
We all have calls like that, and if you happen to come back from class to find your roommate on an important phone call, that’s your sign to exit the room, at least until the conversation they’re having has ended.
Noise in a shared space can be disruptive in ways you might not expect. Slamming doors, for instance, can make others think you’re in a bad mood or worse, wake up a roommate who’s asleep. Whether you’re returning late after a weekend party or just stepping out for a moment, make sure you gently close the door.
Just as you want to minimize disruptive sounds, keeping your space organized and clean helps prevent another type of disruption–stress and frustration. Not only will you save your roommate from a massive headache, but you’ll find it easier to find your things without digging through a pile of dirty clothing.
The same goes for dirty dishes in the sink; don’t wait for someone to clean up after your messes. Be polite and wash your own dishes. Don’t let them pile up in the sink either.
We all have busy schedules, but part of being an adult is being responsible for the messes you make. This also applies to food. Avoid leaving it out for uninvited guests such as bugs, spiders, or even worse, mice; they didn’t pay the housing fee.
If you do want to have guests over, I’m almost positive your roommates would rather it be a friend. Something I look forward to every school year is hosting friends over for fun game nights of Uno, PowerPoint presentations, movies, and cooking together. This can be really fun, but do not bring friends, family, partners, or your hookup without warning or without letting your roommates know.
Instead, ask them if they’re okay with having guests over. It’s common courtesy to do so because it’s a shared living space after all.
Living on campus should be a stress-free and fun experience for all. This may be your first time living on your own away from home. Why not make it a pleasant experience for yourself and those around you? When we have proper roommate etiquette, we learn to be kind, respectful, and considerate to those around us.
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