Friendships are something that everyone cherishes, from having best friends since childhood to meeting people who understand you as you grow older. However, what happens when all the memories you made with that friend disappear when they either throw you away or have a falling out? It is probably the worst feeling in the world to have all of those memories fade away, feeling so upset that you want to do nothing at all but sit around and wallow.

Falling out with a friend or friend group can be insanely hard on someone’s mental health. College students typically have some sort of friend or friend group drama, as everyone is collectively learning life simultaneously. I am often one who hears from other friends of mine about drama in their lives thinking chances are it won’t happen to me. However, time has proved everyone wrong at some point in their lives, including me. I recently had a falling out with a group of friends and it took a toll on me.

I never thought I could feel so low in my life, I was at the point where I couldn’t even concentrate on schoolwork because of how my mental health was at that point in time. Friendship losses are underestimated in how much they can affect one’s mental health.  However, I knew I had to bounce back and get back on my feet somehow, I wasn’t sure how, but I had to do something. There is always something for one to do to get back on track and that should be a form of motivation. Nothing ever gets done with a poor mindset and I was no different. 

Not to sound like a laundry list but the first thing that I did which was highly recommended was talking with a therapist or counselor. These people are here to listen to those who need it and offer suggestions and solutions to help. When I talked to my therapist, he offered me very helpful advice and suggestions. The main one that stuck out to me was it is okay to have those negative emotions but don’t let them overrun you because that takes too much energy away from the things you like to do.

I always found it comforting to talk and be around people who make me happy and know how to make me smile. There are plenty of people in this world who value and care for me, however so do you. Family, friends, and sometimes even talking to a pet is a way to get those feelings out of your system. Some studies have shown talking to a pet is helpful when no one else is around. Whenever I talk to my dog, he always gives me empathetic eyes. He might not understand what I’m going through but I’m sure he understands.

One more thing to keep in mind is when you’re feeling down, remember the things that make you happy. All your hobbies, and things that make you smile. For me, I always write a story or song to help move on, but then I draw, as well. Creativity often sparks feelings of happiness and fun. Is there a movie or show that makes you smile? Watch the film or binge the show until you smile. I remember I watched Back to the Future at least five times until I smiled the entire time, and man was that worth it!

A philosophy I’ve always had was people come in and out of our lives for a reason, whether it be friends, coworkers, or even family. The impacts they make on someone can be very little or super impactful. People change our lives every day, and when one of those people leaves our lives, we see it as a form of pain, when in reality it was actually a new chapter of our lives that is just beginning. Always remember there are people out there who will always care for you, and if you ever have a situation like mine, remember the people who truly care about and love you for who you are. Those are the true people you want to have in your life.

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