Have you or anyone you know ever been personally victimized by a partner texting an ex? What about a partner having a work wife? If you answered yes to either of these questions, you may have experienced micro-cheating.

Micro-cheating is pervasive on campuses, and it is more about boundaries than anything.

You may be wondering what micro-cheating is. Its meaning is seemingly nebulous, with different standards depending on who you ask. I like to define it simply; small actions that lead to infidelity in a relationship. This could be from liking someone’s Instagram stories to late-night phone calls with someone other than your partner. 

The point is that when someone in a relationship engages in romantic behavior outside the confines of their relationship, they are engaging in the act of micro-cheating. These small actions are not uncommon for our generation. According to a 2019 Pew Research Center study, 70% of adult social media users under the age of 30 have used the platform to check up on previous partners.

In general, cheating has become a part of youth culture. Think about when Lay Bankz’s song “Tell Ur Girlfriend” went viral on TikTok. In the song, Bankz urges the man she is cheating with to tell his girlfriend about their fling. Even though it glorifies the betrayal of cheating, social media users saw no issue with creating dances to go with it.

As infidelity is more normalized, its micro form becomes solidified amongst Rowan students. 

So, now you are probably questioning everything you know about your relationship. Is your boyfriend walking other girls to class? Is your girlfriend DMing her lab partner? Does this mean they are gonna start cheating on you? 

To be fair, the answer could be yes. On a college campus, filled with young people happily free from their parents’ thumbs, cheating is always possible. And because micro-cheating is so prevalent, it is more important to evaluate what you will do after being cheated on.

For me, boundaries are the most important factor in micro-cheating. Setting boundaries and defining what behavior is acceptable in your relationship is paramount. Maybe your partner is unaware that you don’t want them liking other people’s posts, or that you are uncomfortable with them staying at someone’s dorm. 

So you have communicated your boundaries with your partner, and they ignore them, now what? The real answer to micro-cheating is to leave the relationship. Whether you are the one cheating or getting cheated on, you’re probably not happy. Or else, you might find yourself in competition with a work husband. 

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