On Jan. 26, I woke up to the news that one of my dear family friends, Nancy Dillon, had suddenly passed away. I was in shock and didn’t know how to process the news.

I live on campus, and I live about an hour and a half from home. I have one working parent and one who is a paraplegic, so my ability to go home a lot of the time isn’t exactly easy. 

I personally had never experienced such a sudden loss in my life, and being away from my family, and the people who would usually help me navigate something like this, made it that much harder.

Nancy was one of the most giving and kind people I had the pleasure of knowing. My father has had a plethora of health issues, and she was always there to make me smile when times really got tough with him.

During COVID, she even opened her home and her pool to us, even though it was also a dangerous time. Whenever I needed a shirt made for a concert or a customized Stanley for a Secret Santa, Nancy would make it, no questions asked, and she rarely ever asked for payment. She taught me to be kinder to myself and others. 

I have had my fair share of bad experiences in my life, as every person does, yet I’ve always had my family to lean on. But being away from home when I needed my family most, almost seemed like the toughest part of this nightmare experience. My mother is the strongest person I know and always has the right thing to say when the going gets tough, even she was at a genuine loss and didn’t know what to do.

For days, I contemplated going home and leaving everything here behind, and while maybe that seemed like a logical choice for most, I realized running away wouldn’t erase the pain that I was feeling but only make it worse. 

First, knowing that even though I didn’t have my family physically with me, I did have my college family and the friends I have made to lean on. Just having their presence around, made dealing with this a little easier. 

I knew I had to make the most of the opportunities I had. So I decided to become a better version of myself, for Nancy. 

Grief can be powerful, and these feelings are 1000% real and valid, but you can turn your grief into something way more meaningful, and in a way grow from it and make something better out of a horrible situation.

Writing is one of those outlets for me where I find a way to express and grow when times get tough. Putting my thoughts into words helps me process emotions that feel too overwhelming to say out loud. It allows me to reflect, and heal. Also trying new things that I literally would have never thought of trying before. 

College comes with deadlines, exams, and social obligations, and grief doesn’t just stop or pause for any of them. The simplest tasks became so difficult for me, and I knew I had to do something to change my mindset. I realized that missing Nancy didn’t mean I had to live in sorrow—it meant carrying her love with me as I moved forward. So, I started making changes in my life that I knew would help me remember her for the love she shared, keep myself on track, and grow from my grief.

At the end of the day, and while there is nothing that can really make the pain completely go away, grief does not always have to be something that holds you back. You can grow from it, and really carry the legacy of the person you lost in amazing ways. 

For comments/questions about this story DM us on Instagram @thewhitatrowan or email opinion@gmail.com