As I got ready to throw yet another three-day, wild celebration for my twenty second birthday, I was stuck with three emotions, in this order: intense excitement, utter panic, and finally–gratitude. 

My initial opinion piece that you’re reading right now was going to be a long winded rant about how as we grow up, everything gets more expensive (and not just because of the impending recession). 

The thought first appeared when I started to buy outfits for my birthday and graduation, decorations for the succeeding house parties along with food and drinks to serve, and filed a long, long list of time-off requests from my weekend job. I was immediately overwhelmed with what a month of not working weekends at my restaurant job could do to me financially. I was even more stunned at the fact that this is only a taste of what will be years of expensive, post-graduate social gatherings. I’m about to be 22, but what happens, five, six years down the line? What might cost me a couple of hundred dollars now is only going to turn into thousands, as friends and family start to get married, have kids, and live far away. Get-togethers have the potential to get pretty costly when you factor in airfare and hotels. 

But when I sat down to write about the financial responsibility of adult friendship, I felt silly, because isn’t this what life is all about? 

No, we don’t need to empty out our bank accounts to have a flourishing social life. That’s reserved for Greek Life organizations and Scientologists. 

What I propose is that we have a social responsibility to the people who we love, and who love us, to celebrate each other’s milestones, open our homes for warm meals and happy hours, and indulge in as much quality time as we can while we’re still in a position to do so. 

I, like the rest of the graduating class of 2025 have about 30 days left in Glassboro. 30 days left before I throw my cap in the air, letting the real world smack me right in the face when it lands. 

And one thing is for certain– it took a village to get here. It wasn’t the good marks on term papers (though they certainly helped) that pushed me to the finish line, it was the support of the people around me and the generosity that friends and family have given me when I was ready to throw in the towel. 

It was Tuesday dive bar karaoke with my best friend, getting tacos in the middle of the day with my little brothers, eating dinner around the kitchen island with my roomates, late nights where laughter blended into tears at the newspaper, and my mid-day phone calls with my mom while I walk to class. It’s also the kind notes from baristas on my iced lattes, neighbors who became friends that helped me move into a new place, conversations with regulars at my restaurant job, and my dad leaving the door unlocked when I got home late. The friend’s couches I surfed on, advice from my professors and advisors, and every opportunity I’ve been given to connect with another person or culture got me where I am today. 

I walk the line of workaholic and ambition very finely– and when I tell you the influx of social and academic responsibility was not easy this month, I am being completely truthful. But in order to ever truly achieve success in university and outside of it, it takes a village to pull it off. And villages don’t just find you, you need to create them yourself. 

And how do you do that? By making an effort to show up for the people who show up for you. Taking initiative isn’t reserved for your career. To actively build community you need to be the one planning get togethers, saying hello to the people around you, participating in class, going to events, and visiting your local small businesses. 

The internet is full of people who will tell you how irresponsible it is to “waste” time and money by going to parties and engaging in social activities when you could be shredding it up in the gym or waking up at 5am to study. If you go looking for it you’ll find plenty of people to tell you how impossible it is to have a lot of close friends, and how silly you are for not following their perfect guide to “the things I wish I knew in my twenties,” which, by the way, are all full of inevitable life lessons that I’m fairly certain everyone will learn–and learn the hard way at that.

But if you’ve gotten to the end of this piece, let me counter them and say that the richest thing you will ever have isn’t monetary, it isn’t a perfect body, and it most certainly isn’t a life that’s desolate of the pure gift that comes from loving the people around you. 

The wealthiest people aren’t the ones with the most zeros in their bank account. They’re the people who are lucky enough to have a strong community of love and support building them up along the way. 

Almost 900 words later, I’d like to simply say thank you to everyone I’ve known and loved throughout these four years for being that for me.

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