From the moment we’re old enough to understand the word ‘romance,’ we’re told that relationships are everything—something to strive for, to maintain, to define ourselves by. 

As the National Library of Medicine points out, relationships are, in fact, crucial for developing our social skills and are intended to become a “long-term” goal during adulthood. While previous generations often viewed relationships as milestones on the path toward adulthood, today’s young adults are increasingly opting for connections that defy traditional labels.

In other words, Gen Z is redefining what it means to form relationships and connections in the modern age. 

BBC discusses the term “situationship,” which is a term commonly used for a relationship that lingers in the grey area between platonic and romantic. For many college-aged people, this idea of dating as a formal, labeled process just feels outdated, so it’s replaced by a preference for flexibility and self-exploration. This move away from labels isn’t just about avoiding commitment. It also reflects the shifting traditional cultural norms as well as a growing desire for personal growth.

 Without the pressure to define relationships or rushing towards milestones like marriage, Gen Z is free to focus on career goals and personal development priorities that have become central to this generation’s identity. 

Unsurprisingly, this generation is often hesitant towards the “commitment” aspect due to having witnessed the challenges faced by previous generations, like infidelity and the high divorce rates. Many Gen Z’ers are understandably cautious of making long-term commitments with the lingering fear of repeating those same mistakes, sparking a challenge that becomes difficult to alleviate. 

Instead of a label, “situationships” grant a constant, endless pool of potential partners. In contrast, making it harder for a partner to commit to a person when there are so many available options, like mutuals or casual connections. This choice for partners fosters a mindset of more casual situationships, feeling less risky than a full-on exclusive relationship. Keeping dating apps in mind adds an even more overwhelming number of people right to your fingertips. 

The downsides of these situationships, however, can lead to one partner catching hard feelings for the other, while the other might manipulate the situation, making the “understandings” in these relationships blurred. 

From a personal standpoint, situationships never end well for at least one person because of this. I feel as though it’s often best to end the situation at that point since it’s compromised. Showing too much interest can disrupt the delicate balance and lead to disappointment or heartbreak. When a situationship ends, it can feel just as painful as a traditional breakup, even though the relationship was never “official.” 

This raises an important question: are all of these complicated feelings validated? 

Unfortunately, the pain and confusion that can follow the end of a situationship are often minimized or downplayed. But ultimately, Gen Z’s preference for situationships stems from a desire to avoid the pressures of commitment, to maintain freedom, to explore other connections, and to embrace this new normalization.