Being a commuter comes with benefits. Whether it’s saving thousands of dollars by skipping out on campus residency, or being able to live within the comfort of your own familial home, the list goes on and on. While commuting does have advantages that are worth it for many, there are also plenty of downsides to the commuter lifestyle as well, and I don’t just mean the parking.
The biggest downside that has personally affected me as a commuter has definitely been how much harder it is to connect with other students and make friends. Don’t get me wrong, there are plenty of opportunities for commuters to participate in forming connections with peers and to attend events on campus. At the same time, not actually living on campus adds an extra obstacle for commuter students to feel connected and involved with campus life.
And for those who are introverted and shy, it can be even harder. As a very quiet and introverted person myself, I have had my fair share of feeling isolated and lonely while on campus. I have personally always struggled with making friends, especially in a school environment. When I attended community college for my first two years, this was the case. When I transferred to Rowan in the spring of 2023, this was no exception either. Putting yourself out there in a new environment can be really hard, and it isn’t discussed as much as it should be in a university setting. For many introverted people, even just going up and introducing yourself to someone can seem like the end of the world.
Seeing other students living on campus hang out in a friend group, seeing students live on campus and be in relationships with other residents, or simply hearing a classmate talk about something their roommate did, made me start to feel like I was missing out big time.
Was I satisfied with the knowledge that I was saving myself thousands of dollars in the long haul? Yes.
Did I also have major FOMO? Absolutely.
I began to regret my choice of not living on campus, and I dealt with a lot of isolation and depression during my first two semesters at Rowan because of it. Weighing out the pros and cons of anything can be tough, and sometimes, it won’t leave you confident that you’ve made the right choice. But while these feelings are valid, it also doesn’t have to control your mindset over the choice you’ve made.
It often isn’t easy to take a step back and reflect on your feelings and how you might be able to solve them, but in order to get through the rest of college, I knew that it was something I would have to do. If I was going to find a community on campus, I was going to have to put the work in myself, despite any anxiety that it brought me and all of the commuting inconveniences attached to it.
During my third semester at Rowan, I decided to finally take a chance and break out of my shell of campus self-isolation. It led me to become a copy editor for The Whit. Putting myself out there like that, making a conscious effort to become a member of the team, and doing what it took to be considered, was probably one of the boldest things I have ever done.
There were days when I almost talked myself out of showing up to meetings, a bundle of nausea in my stomach as I approached Bozorth Hall. But every time I chose to walk through the door, the easier it got. I was shown nothing but kindness and acceptance by everyone in the room, and to this day I find myself becoming more talkative and comfortable every meeting that goes by. Being part of a community like this has made showing up to campus every week feel purposeful. Just being known by other people on campus, even if it’s simply saying hello as you pass them while on a walk, it’s a pretty good feeling.
If you want to be involved on campus, make the choice to be involved. There is work that needs to be done, and effort that needs to be put in by you. And the best part is that it sounds scarier than it actually is.
Going to an event no matter how big or small, especially by yourself, can be really intense. Every time I almost let the nerves talk myself out of going to an event, I swallowed it down and went anyway. I have never regretted that decision. There hasn’t been a single event on campus that I’ve attended where I wasn’t greeted with anything but friendliness and inclusion. Even if you don’t end up making a friend, or you don’t talk to many people while you’re there, the act of simply being somewhere within a community and being around other peers will always bring you to that campus life you may crave, and you may even find exactly what you’re looking for.
If you ever find yourself afraid to go to an event on campus, or if you ever begin to have second thoughts about joining a club or an organization, take a deep breath. It’s important to know that many people at the said event are going for the same reasons as you. They want to find a community, too. They want to make friends. They want to be known on campus. They want to find out who they are and what they enjoy doing.
I promise you that it will be okay. No one is judging you, no one is out to get you, and no one is going to hurt you for simply showing up and being you. Just go and do your best, and something good is bound to come out of it.
For comments/questions about this story DM us on Instagram @thewhitatrowan or email opinion@gmail.com
