It was the late summer of 2023, Aug. 24 to be exact. My loved ones had just dropped me off to start my new adventure at The College of New Jersey. I was beyond excited to start a new life as a college freshman. Everything about college seemed so appealing, from independent living to making new friends. Little did I know that by December, I would never be more ready to go back home and restart a new chapter in my life.
At the beginning of my senior year, I accepted my offer to The College of New Jersey in Ewing, New Jersey. I loved the campus and the sense of community. The first night on campus as an actual student was amazing – I met new friends and had a blast indulging in the first of many welcome week activities.
The first night was nothing short of fun, but this shortly went downhill. My dreams of living a fun college life away from home were quickly crushed. My homesickness started to kick in and I realized that I made the wrong decision when choosing my college.
There are a plethora of reasons why my previous school wasn’t the right fit for me, but in all honesty, the only way I can explain why it wasn’t for me is that it just didn’t feel right. I truly did love TCNJ for many reasons, like class sizes, its community, and my professors, but no matter how many things I liked about TCNJ, something just didn’t click.
Even though I was extremely unhappy at my alma mater, I felt so much pressure to suck it up and deal with it. Each week, I would have the thoughts of transferring to Rowan, a school 15 minutes from home, and I would be faced with racing thoughts and turning in my stomach. I felt like I had to stay at TCNJ because I didn’t want to disappoint my parents or the people around me.
I didn’t want people to view me as a failure, because that is how I viewed myself. I had worked extremely hard throughout high school to get into a good college and I couldn’t even last one semester.
It has been 11 months since I sent in my transfer application, and I can look back and see that I am not a failure, and neither are any other transfer students. Transfer students face a struggle that is extremely difficult and isolating, and it is something that needs to be talked about more.
While I knew that The College of New Jersey wasn’t for me, deciding to transfer was the hardest decision I had to make. The college wasn’t for me, yet I felt obligated to like it and to stay even though it gave me frequent panic attacks.
Transferring schools in college is a very common thing. According to College Advisor, an estimated 2.1 million students transfer each year. It’s not uncommon for students to transfer, yet no one really talks about the anxiety that comes with transferring.
Not only are many transfer students faced with the sadness and dread of not enjoying their college or university but they are also faced with the decision to transfer. Some students may be 100% sure that transferring is right for them, but other students, like myself, struggle with the decision to transfer because they are scared to disappoint the people around them and they are scared to completely restart their college journey. Personally, I was fearful that people would view me poorly because I had moved back home and went to a school 5 minutes away from my house because I couldn’t handle anything else.
Not only did I struggle with the actual decision of transferring, but I also struggled with just being on campus. I felt like a fish out of water. I constantly compared myself to other students and wondered why I wasn’t having a good time like they did.
I may be able to list a few struggles that occurred when considering transferring, but I can’t really put into words just how many challenges and anxieties come with being a transfer student. In my opinion, I think universities need to do more things for students who are considering transferring to support their students.
No college or university wants to lose their students, but they can still give students who are considering transferring some help to make the decision easier and less stressful. At many colleges, there are mental health support services. Here at Rowan, students are provided with in-person counseling appointments, and while this is great and super important for students to have, I think schools can do more for students who are considering transferring.
For starters, there are group therapy sessions such as groups dealing with grief and loss, but I think there could be group therapy sessions for students considering transferring. This will allow students to find community and feel less alone when discussing transferring schools. In my transferring experience, I felt extremely isolated because I felt like there was no one at my previous school dealing with what I was dealing with and I had no one to relate to or talk to about it. Having people who are struggling with the same issues can relieve some of the stress that comes with transferring to universities.
This is only one way that universities and colleges can help students who are struggling with the big decision of transferring schools.
Transferring is such a difficult process and it can be emotionally taxing. It wasn’t easy, but I can confidently say that my life has improved drastically since transferring and making Rowan my new home and I know many others can say the same. While it came with its struggles, transferring could be an easier and less isolating process if institutions created a safe space for students to talk about their struggles and had emotional support through their journey.
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