Commuter Column: The magic of living with your parents

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We often see many popular representations of how much fun being in college is. Movies like 22 Jump Street and Animal House show romanticized images of the immense amount of fun studying and living at college can be. We may even lament those who have to take room and board with their parents as unfortunate souls derided of their chance to place lamp-shades on their heads and enjoy some of college’s finer moments. As someone who has lived at both college and home, I can tell you that living at home beats a college boy’s experience any day of the week. I can give you a plethora of reasons as to why this is so obviously the case. Whether it be your mom neatly folding your socks or enjoying dad’s HBO subscription, there are many reasons why sleeping in your twin-sized, childhood bed every night is simply unbeatable.

For starters, your folks throw the best wine and cheese parties. Their guests are mature, considerate, and actually go home at a decent hour. Besides, no cheep beer here. These party goers have the finest taste in fine wines and sophisticated cheese and cracker platters.

Secondly, the dishes always magically clean themselves. You make a big ole’ lunch before going to class and don’t have to lift a finger in cleaning up the mess. I would like to see that level of effectiveness in an unkempt college kitchen.

Thirdly, rent is totally nonexistent. The only cost of living at home is hearing your father occasionally say something about taking the trash in, or raking the yard. But don’t worry, because once you spend enough time lounging around the house your parents worked 25 back-breaking-years to afford it eventually melts into a comforting background noise. Ahhh, nothing like a good ol’, “ALEX, EMPTY THE DISHWASHER!” to start your morning.

Fourthly, just like the dishes, you start to suspect that there really is something magical about your home. While college kids scraped by on nothing but ramen noodles and desperation, your pantries always seem to be bursting with more than enough food. Not to mention, your home comes complete with a full-time and very talented cook, your parents.

This is no cafeteria food. This cook has all your favorites memorized and is willing to make you any comforting entree you want. Having a bad day? You can get some of that classic lasagna. Having a tough time at work? Put in an order for the steak and tots. Failed a test because you were at a wine and cheese party when you should have been studying? Get yourself a peanut-butter and jelly sandwich with the crusts cut off just how you like it.

The fact of the matter is that living at home is indisputably the best and most worthwhile option. Your roommates are clean, quiet and always go to bed early. They even do your taxes.

This brings us to our last and most important point: You never have to worry about moving back in with your folks. You already have!

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