I have two dads… and no, it’s not what you may be thinking.
My father suffers from bipolar disorder, along with a slew of other issues due to his bipolar disorder.
When I was younger, I never totally realized it and it kind of flew under the radar, but as I grew older I could notice it more and more.
Due to his bipolar disorder, he has also suffered from alcoholism, addiction, depression and many other medical issues.
For me, it kind of scared me when I realized that my dad wasn’t always the same person. As I may not see him often, maybe once a month if I’m lucky, he showed a different side of him every time I saw him.
There would be days where I would go over and he would be totally fine and happy, but there would also be days where he was angry, sad, down, depressed and even quiet.
It was weird and I didn’t know how to take it because it was almost like I couldn’t be who I normally am around him.
The hardest part of it all was that it wasn’t on me, it was on him. Seeing him struggle with his thoughts, his actions and the responsibilities he has in everyday life.
I remember one day specifically when I had actually gone to a doctor’s visit with him and the doctor asked what types of medicine he was on.
My dad started naming off so many medicines it was actually scary. He was naming at least anywhere from 10-20 pills that ranged from pain, bipolar, depression and many other types of medicines.
As of recently he has gotten a lot under control and managed his pain and suffering in his own ways. He still has to take medicine for it but he can now control and notice when he is starting to slip in and out of his episodes.
I realize I said I have two dads earlier, but in reality it is one person. He is still the father that birthed me and raised me alongside my mother.
I don’t love him anymore or less because of it; it’s just something he has to deal with and I have to work past.
I wouldn’t change him for anyone else in the world, even when he has his episodes, it’s all just about support and comfort. Knowing he has people there that support him and understand his condition is the most important part.
For others going through the same thing, try to talk to someone and get help, even seek help from those going through the same thing that can relate to you in one way or another.
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