When I was younger I loved everything. I loved animals, nature, school, and shopping with my mom. I did not have the best experience in elementary school, but I loved learning about all the subjects. 

I felt like I knew everything in school and that I could easily complete assignments or readings. 

However, I never thought it was easy to learn about myself. As middle school commenced, it almost seemed like everyone already knew who they were. Like what they wanted to be, who they wanted to hang out with, and who they liked. I always felt so behind. 

In high school, it felt the same, I felt like I was fitting into some sort of cookie cutter, so I could be like everyone else. I rejected so many emotions I had because there weren’t a lot of people I could talk to that felt the same. I became curious and learned more about clubs in my high school, and it eventually led me to the Gay Straight Alliance Club. I learned about so many people’s identities. Being around that community made it possible for me to get my answers. 

I came out as bisexual in my first year of high school, and I never regretted it. I loved embracing my identity, and it continued to make me the happiest watching others find themselves too. 

But the one thing I realized as I became a part of this community was how misunderstood being bisexual was. Sometimes there wasn’t enough representation, but September is known as Bisexuality Visibility Month. There is a bisexual awareness week and a bisexual visibility day all embracing the orientation in September.

As more people have become more accepting of the community, there has been an increase in students who identify as bisexual. A study from the Penn State Center for Collegiate Mental Health shows that there has been a consistent increase in students who identify as bisexual over the past ten years at the center. Now the percentage is at 13.2% in 2020 to 2021. 

This study demonstrates that many people are learning to embrace who they are, but this increase also means there is a need for education on this particular topic. Students of the LGBTQ+ community can often be misunderstood, they can find themselves in situations where others are discriminatory against them. 

It’s scary, I’ve experienced it once in my life, but just that one time was enough for me to realize that just because it’s becoming more common, does not mean people are becoming more accepting. 

One of the common thoughts I have had about being bisexual, which I have mostly seen from other people’s online comments, is the bi-erasure.

Bi-erasure is when someone questions the existence of bisexuality. I have been with my boyfriend for three years now, and I have seen others who also are in the same situation get told, “You’re not even bisexual, you’re with a guy.” It undermines the confused feeling I receive, because sometimes I think, am I really not?

For other Rowan students feeling this way, about sexuality, many resources provide guidance and reassurance. While being a part of the Shades of Unified Love (SOUL) club here on campus, I’ve learned so much about the history of different sexual orientations and met lots of other students through the events we’ve held. 

SOUL is a club for BIPOC students from the LGBTQ+ community. There is also Rowan Prism, which brings students together of all sexual orientations. For me, it was a perfect place to find comfort and reassure myself that I am bisexual. 

I don’t need to be “bisexual enough,” for someone to be satisfied with my sexuality. I remember first coming out to people and immediately being asked, “Have you ever dated a girl?” Although it’s a question that people may get curious about, it’s inappropriate. 

A college student at Bath Spa University shared his experience of people “erasing his existence.” Thomas York, a bisexual psychology student, was asked by one of his friends at a club meeting, that because he now had a boyfriend if it meant that he was gay. 

He addresses that in the media he feels objectified, “My sexuality is painted negatively,” while referring widely to known examples of shows and films such as Glee, Sex and the City, Insatiable, and The Real O’Neals. All this comes together to form a mess of internalized biphobia. 

“Am I being gay enough? Am I being straight enough? All I am is 100 percent bisexual,” York said. 

In my case, word had gotten around in my class that I was bisexual. I was told by a friend that a girl in the locker room said that everyone should be careful because I like girls now too. What I never realized is how much progress has been made to normalize being bisexual. Social media influencers, celebrities, and musicians especially have played a huge part in changing that dynamic. 

I hope every college student knows there is room for everyone on campus. At Rowan, there is a Gender and Sexuality Center promoting an environment for students that is inclusive no matter their sexual orientation or gender. 

I urge everyone to educate yourselves if you’re unsure about what a specific sexual orientation means before making comments during this Bisexuality Visibility Month, and every month after that. 

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