“Self-worth” is a term found everywhere, from ads to influencers to celebrities promoting it as something earned by others’ views on us, and superficial factors such as appearance, academic ability, or money.

This view of self-worth seems especially prominent amongst college students and young adults. A recent study conducted by the University of Nevada shows the correlation between college students’ social media usage and a decrease in mental health. 

But if what we’re being told about self-worth is false, what is it really? 

According to Merriam-Webster Dictionary, self-worth is defined as “a sense of one’s own value as a human being.” Inherently, this definition automatically excludes and removes any external factors. We are all valuable because we are human.

Since starting college, I realized that many of us crave validation, and we look outwardly for that validation.

But maybe that’s not the problem. Maybe the problem is why and from whom we seek it.

As I walk around campus, I see students, including myself, constantly trying to find their value in external factors. None of us seems to accept that we have inherent value.

No matter what you have done or how you have treated people, you inherently have so much value. Value that is not determined by how hard you work, what your major is, what you wear, how pretty you are, or any mistakes you have made. You as an individual are enough.

We can all read this and passively accept it as truth, but how do we truly live out what feels like the impossible task of loving who we are and accepting that we are deserving of love?

The first step is to try to stop controlling everything. We are not in control of everything, and as hard as it is to accept, people leaving or things going wrong in life do not mean it is because we are not enough.

One thing I’ve been trying to learn is that we are all different. We think and process things differently, which can lead to others’ decisions we may never understand. 

Just because something you don’t understand happens to you does not mean that the intentions were ill or that anyone was trying to hurt you.

Second, focus on areas where you know you try to find validation, and make sure they do not control your life. Realize that the things you use as a form of validation are not all that you are. 

Your body image, your social status, your academic success — none of this defines you, and none of it should be anyone’s view of who you are. We are all so much more than these things and deserve to be treated as more than just these external factors.

Still, just because we all have inherent value does not mean we can behave however we like. If we want to focus on our self-worth and loving ourselves, we need to ensure others are valuing themselves as well. Using people, abusing people, cheating on people, etc., all diminish others’ feelings of self-worth and their ability to accept that they deserve love. 

With that being said, I see how people my age are. We don’t love ourselves properly. We love ourselves based on external factors rather than the fact that we are here existing as individual humans. We don’t think we deserve love. 

We are all young, have not even started careers or families, and are still figuring out our lives, and we do all this without even loving the very thing that allows us to get up every day and strive to be better.

We must stop this. We need to see the beauty in humanity and ourselves. We’re messy, we make mistakes, but despite everything, we all offer beautiful glances into unique souls, all deserving of redemption and love.

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