When all your friends are in love or are being chased by guys, there is a certain feeling of loneliness that you get. You are in the time of your life where every adult told you that was when they met the love of their life, and ‘your person is coming soon’. 

In reality, the likelihood of finding the love of your life in college is slim, at least it’s not the first man you date. It can be a hard pill to swallow at first. For myself, I had only a few romantic experiences. There are a lot of reasons why people need to be single in college, so not finding the love of your life within the first 6 months is a blessing in disguise. 

To start, you avoid the heartbreak of the freshman year situationship. So many guys go to college, join a frat, and decide that they want everything to be casual. From what I have seen, most freshman year love endeavors leave girls scarred and unwilling to let men back into their lives. 

Some people want a partner during college because they feel like they need to have one. The people around them who are in relationships always have someone to do something with or to try new things with, so it can make the people without that feel left out. What I have learned is that I need to start living with just myself. 

No one can love another person to their full potential until they learn to love themselves. How can you enjoy spending time with a significant other if you don’t enjoy spending time alone? You don’t need to jump to solo vacations or doing a long road trip alone. A simple trip to your local coffee shop can be the beginning of being ok with being single. This, to me, is a big pro of being single in college. Sometimes, when you are in a relationship during these years, finding your own identity can be mixed with that person’s identity; oftentimes, you cannot tell the two apart. 

The biggest con, to me, of being single in college, is when you’re having a bad day. When I’m in my bed with tears in my eyes, and I’m alone, it makes me wish that I had someone there with me. A platonic girlfriend is great too, but it can be hard to accept that you don’t have someone there because of their pure romantic love for you. 

The late warm nights on the boulevard sometimes feel like they would be better with someone’s hand to hold. Of course, relationships aren’t everything; loving yourself in college, one of the hardest times to have self-esteem, is what matters the most. But don’t let anyone shame you for wishing you weren’t single or wanting that kind of love in your life; that is completely normal. Being single in college is what you make of it. Whether you spend that time bettering yourself, having fun and playing the field, or focusing on academics, your time will come. Being single and free during this time is rare, so take advantage of it while you still can.